Long time no play! 

I am back from my 2nd trip to Vegas in as many weeks. I am now very OVER Vegas!  It is getting out of control - first off they HATE kids there all of the sudden - 80% of the restaurants do not allow children under 5.  Well at least at any of the hotels currently or formerly owned by MR WYNN.  I can now see why that guy’s daughter faked her kidnapping - she must have been starved for his attention as a child!  Now I am the first to admit that some people have little or no control over their children and at times that can be a huge nuisance in a restaurant.  But in all honesty - my kids have eaten in some of the finest restaurants all over the world - and most of the time they are better behaved than most of it's adult patrons - I say if I am willing to pay $145 bucks to stuff a steak in my kids face - well by heaven they should let me do it - right???  Mr. Wynn doesn't agree - so I moved to the Four Seasons where they are happy to being my little prince anything he wants - and on a silver platter to boot!!!

Second - it is no longer cheap to go to Vegas.  Not in the slightest.  I didn't have one breakfast under $100 and let’s not even go to how much dinner costs... yikes!  At an average of $125 a person - I was stuffing every morsel into my kids faces - like it or not! 

Now everything has a crazy price tag on it.  On the North end of the strip (all flash no class - end of the strip) you can have your breakfast - minus the kids in tow - and then take thee self over to the extremely gaudy Ferrari dealership (that you have to wait in like to get into)  that elegantly sits right next to the coffee shop, and by your kids a brand new Ferrari or Masariti – you just can’t take them to see it until it is about a mile away from the entire property.  Or maybe if you in the mood -  a $3200 pair of shoes or something equally as overpriced and useless might be in your future – if you are mindless enough to spend that kind of money on something that you walk on!  I have to say - that my final conclusion about Mr. Wynn and what he has done to Vegas is… he has made it a haven for "White trash with Money".  His hotels are gaudy and they try so hard to be pretensions that they look like fools and couldn’t be further away from elegance or class.  The inside of all the new hotels are so over done and ugly that your eyes hurt when you leave!  Vegas in known for gaudy – but Mr. Wynn has taken it to yucky new heights.

Ahaha!  I got your attention! 

Ok I'll admit it - I have done it - I have now gone to the Renaissance Pleasure Faire!  

YIKES!  Is my first thought!

As any well served LA socialite would say - "this is the land of freaks  - the path of the which the no reasonable person should actually cross"!  At first sight I would have to agree!  This was a freak fest of EPIC proportions.  I mean really who in their right mind dresses up in mid evil garb and runs around talking in Old English dialect, living in an virtual fantasy world??  This is something I had to experience first hand!

So I donned my best tank top, dressed the chillins in their favorite Mid Evil garb and we were off!  Between the two of them we all looked - eeeekkkkk  - like we actually belonged there - the chillins were a hit - and God love em - they loved every second of it! 

Thankfully for my husband and I the kids are young and they don't actually get the full gist of the "Pleasure Faire".  It is basically and excuse to drink to much, show wayyyyy too much cleavage, grab people you don't know and kiss them, touch strangers in places where you might just want to wash your hands after doing so, and generally just plain ole misbehaving.  It is a license for the truly geeky to be accepted and let go of all inhibitions and suddenly become lusty and "Wanton".  It is a sight to behold! 

My partaking of this affair was simply as voure!  I went out of curiosity and a bit of - "wow that sounds like fun"! But I did go thinking I would hate every second of it... ARUGH surrounded by crazy geeks all day - YUCK! 

So as we walked in - after a half an hour in line with the likes of Robin hood and Captain hook... the first thing I run up against is a guy who runs up to my husband and challenges him to a duel for the "wench in the underwear"!!!  Once he was past us - the next obstacle was a guy who ran up to read my t-shirt - 3 minutes later he said  he "was a slow reader" the t-shirt had 3 words on it! 

Anyway - it was all in good fun.  We stayed for a few hours, walking around, eating surprisingly great food and looking at all the craft and game booths.  I have to admit the games were truly fun - and I am now thinking of taking up archery as a sport!  But, many times I found myself just sitting there watching the people as they walked by and went about their tasks.  It was truly amazing.  These people believe fervently in the world that they have created for themselves.  They have created a world where debauchery is OK and pride and true workmanship are a thing to be reviled.  They enjoy for just that moment, a very simple life - one with no modern worries, no stress, just living in the moment and taking from it what they can. 

There was something very sweet about the whole thing once I looked at it with non judgmental eyes.  Now I can see the appeal in it for the masses.  They get to believe that life is simple, and just there to be enjoyed and lived for that moment.  In a way I felt jealous that they could just let go and be free like that.  They don't care what anyone thinks about them or what they do... there is no posing, no passing of judgment... just a passing moment where it is OK to be silly!  I was in Awe of their freedom. 

So what did i take away from my day of debauchery???  Other than a nasty sunburn? I have learned a new way to look at things - a bit more openly!  I have decided that life is to short to assume anything!

Ok so your wondering just what a typical day in LA is like!  It doesn't get more LA than this:

Friday morning I hop in my littlest convertible… (I have 2 – an Audi, and a tiny BMW that actually belongs to my husband, along with one Behemoth of a vehicle for those "Aggressive” days) and I decide to go into Beverly Hills for some errands and a visit to the Los Angeles Total Health Clinic.  Short for... crazy Colonic Lady, Holistic Chiropractor, Masseuse and  a Health Balance nutritionist - all in one office – it is as LA health nutty as you can get.  OK I admit it... I have been feeling sluggish lately and was feeling the need to be cleaned out.  So low and behold... of course there is a one stop "cleansing shop" in Beverly Hills. 

So on my way over to my "Plummer" I am driving over the Glen - top down, getting a nice tan, and just minding my own business.  Then some punk in a huge black truck with those ugly spin rims, cuts me off and just about makes me run into some poor guys wall.  I was pissed and of course, but being a lady, only flipped him off once!  At the light we catch up and I look over to shoot him the "nasty you screwed up look" and low and behold it is the 12 year old with a license - Frankie Munez.  Apparently, he's smashed the $250,000 ride he coveted and is driving a brand new pimped out Ford Truck instead...  Can you say short man complex? 

Since he is an actor and supposed to be a good role model for wee lads the world over I was happy to lay into him for driving like such a child.  Surprisingly - he apologized... But then he flipped me the bird and ran the light.  PUNK!

So after that I was surly in need of my "cleansing and de-stressing regime"... I get to my "Health Center" walk in the door and this tiny little woman bounds up to me and shouts "so you’re full of shit eh"!  She grabs me by the arm and takes me into the room.  After  I disrobe and lay on the table I am now the prisoner of a 60 something polish woman who takes pride in speaking frankly about all things.  She is the kind of woman that has absolutely no sense of humor - but she is so crass you are sure she is joking!  She's not. 

Anyway, the YUCK session starts (for those of you who aren’t sure what a Colonic is – think giant enema, but with a machine).  In the midst of the session, in walks a masseuse to help relieve some of the pain and keep “things moving”.  I'm not 15 minutes into the entire really awful session, and low and behold my little polish woman and my little Japanese woman start arguing.  At first I thought they were kidding - but when one started calling the other really bad names I figured this was for real.  Mind you I am lying between them, nary a hospital gown separating my private parts from them.  And I have a giant tube up my Netherlands! 

I am totally helpless.... The fight went on for a full 5 minutes until the masseuse ran out of the room crying!  I wanted to run with her - but I was connected to this evil woman and her machine - literally.  She spent the next 20 minutes complaining about the Japanese, the rest of the world, and all their faults.  I totally disagreed with every word that came out of her mouth - but God knows I wasn't going to tell her that.  When she was done I couldn't get out of the room fast enough!   I ran for my little life – straight to Barney’s where all your worries can be lost in the Shoe section.

See how fun LA can be?  It is never boring!

Who in their right mind would give a 30 something (emphasis on the something) crazy busy woman a blog of her own????  All this just so I can catch up on some of my UBER busy pals?!!? 

Well I love them and I guess I too am happy to play the game!

Wow - my very own Blog!  What shall I say????  Hmmmmm - who am I???  Why would anyone care what I have to say?  Drat - I can't think of a thing... oh wait... here... I do have a few things to say tonight.  Lets start off slow... no names... no faces... just you and me... oh yeah - any my faithful dog Oscar! 

I am not a rock star - that is for sure!  I am not actually a star at all.  I am just a gal who happens to be luckily plopped smack dab in the middle of tinsel town!  L.A.!  What a great town.  This is the place that everyone loves and yet hates at the same time.  I can't say I blame them - we have a lot to hate and even more to love.  We get a bad wrap here in LA.  But you know what?  Sometimes we deserve it. There are surly quite a few people here that deserve the stereotype.  

In reality - those of us who live here are blessed and spoiled.  Where else can  you wake up in the morning - run up to the slopes- do a few runs on the board... then hop in your car and make it to the beach for lunch???  It's a good life if you can put up with the posers, glory sponges, and the traffic. 

I myself... well I blend in to all parts of this town.  My age depends on who I am talking to at the time... and not a one of them has gotten it right yet!  I have friends in "the BIZ" some famous and many NOT - but not one "Poser" as a friend - I do detest them!  I also have friends that live on the streets.  I pass judgment on no one... if I can help it... which sometime I just can't help myself I have to spit out the "bad stuff". 

I want to adore them all - I really do - but just how many posers can a gal choke down in a day? 

My business is a glamorous one - I won't put a name on it for now.  But it does put me in some pretty cool places every day.  And sometimes around some pretty wacky people.  I love what I do - it gives me pure joy!   I get paid to make the world "Pretty".  I also get paid to spend other peoples money!  Now that's fun!  Shopping without strings----- YUMMY!!!

Well, I think that is about enough for my first day.  I know - no dish... sorry... it's late - I'm tired... but one thing... I did know that Britney was preggers about a month ago... happy to see that cat out of the bag - poor girl is a WRECK!  Pregnancy is not boding well with her.  Sad story is... those kids are not going to make it... they fight all day long.  MESSY!!!